The Bureaucrats' 'Brolly Folly'
Despite Victoria’s state debt scheduled to hit $155 billion within four years, the Department of Treasury and Finance is preoccupied with solving a wet umbrella dilemma.
Until the introduction of the Victorian Government’s plastic bag ban, it was common practice to use the bags to cover wet umbrellas being brought into buildings.
The department referred to them as ‘umbrella bags’.
The underlying anxiety is caused by the Government’s workplace manslaughter laws, with fears someone might now fatally slip on a wet floor combined with the environmental problem of their plastic bag ban.
The Member for Western Victoria, Bev McArthur, said the wet-brolly brouhaha has become a nightmare issue for the bureaucratic boffins.
“Treasury and Finance officials are no doubt preoccupied with the wet-brolly in the foyer catastrophe. One can only imagine the flurry of reports, Zooms, investigations and wet brolly meetings being held to solve this significant problem.
“It also appears that rain was not factored into its OH&S policy.
“The Premier and his Treasurer have clearly been banking on global warming eliminating rain from the equation.
“The question remains – where is Tim Flannery when the Government really needs him? Why is it even raining? Flannery must be flummoxed.
“The boffins must be fuming that a fellow boffin got it wrong. How is that even possible?”
The water-on-the-floor issue has remained unresolved for 18 months.
Among the solutions being considered by the department are ‘eco-friendly electronic umbrella dryers’ or biodegradable bags.
“It seems a trial of the dryers has only been delayed because bureaucrats have been working from home. Clearly no work safe or global warming issue with wet brollies at the homes of our public servants,” Mrs McArthur said.
“There is now much maths to be done.
“What sort of figures will the sharp pencil people in Treasury need to cost out emissions versus wet floor risk as they introduce electric brolly driers?
“Heaven help us if this becomes a new mandatory workplace requirement across both the public and private sectors.
“Who will pick up that tab? Taxpayers & consumers no doubt.
“Surely the only solution is to ban the brolly and replace it with compulsory biodegradable emission free plastic raincoats and apparel for all public servants.”
13 April 2021